airsoft

whoopey! one of my favourite subjects!
first off, what peeves me the most in airsoft is cheating. #1 cheat:WHAP WHAP WHAP! you feel the hits, see the welts, the enemy team player (who just shot you) calls did i hit you!? you reply "no! but close!" see the problem? thing is, the enemy player may have seen you get hit, and you just failed the truth test. no more airsofting for you! that person now knows they can no longer trust you.
#2 i don't actually think there's any other ways to cheat at airsoft, but people have called me and my "axe" cheating, as i didn't actually hit them with a bb. whenever this happens i simply level my tri-shot shotgun, and say "sure it doesn't, but this hurts a lot worse" generally they surrender. (if they don't, three bbs, at point-blank range, to the chest, hurts!)

favourite ways to play!
#1 wearing full combat gear
#2 wearing my (custom made) Imperial Captain's combat uniform (which, sadly, needs repairs owing to the fact that paintballs and cardboard don't mix)
#3 with more than five people!
#4 either in a recon position, or CQC (close quarters combat) although defense is pretty fun.
#5 running as a raving axe murderer
#6 against  at least one person who has never played before (especially if they think that i'm not that scary, they can totally take me because they are AMAZING at call of duty, and wearing a face mask is wimpy)
#7 there's really to many to list.

the first time i ever played airsoft:
location: park (before i knew that it was bad to play there)
time: February-ish
age: eleven
it started when my friend handed me a electric Uzi (i wish i knew where to get one), and told me where to put the bbs. we then headed to the park, where the team i was on proceeded to get massacred. it wasn't a terrible lot of fun, but i was intrigued, and looked on Amazon for the cheapest gun i could find (M3O6A Uzi) it was a great gun, survived a years(ish) worth of hard usage, and was pretty powerful for a eleven dollar springer (despite the fact that it looked more like a MPL than a Uzi, i loved it, i just barely fixed my second gun of the same make) i would highly recommend that gun to entry-level players.

spectacular losses:
#1
location: Bandit's place
time: Winter, just after Christmas 2012
game mode: team death match
the "breaking in" of my shotgun, and Bandit's m4
teams: me and Sour cream, armed with my shotgun, his sniper, and a full auto Thompson SMG. vs. Earth-man and Bandit who were armed with a one shot per pump CQC shotgun, and a automatic m4.
first mistake: letting the other team get the high ground.
second mistake: taking cover in the foxhole bandit's got out there.
last mistake: getting shot.
needless to say, we were pretty embarrassed at getting beat by brand-new Deacons.
moral of the story: in two on two, foxholes are a bad idea.

#2 there's really to many to list, but the first time i played, was pretty bad.
after i ran out of ammo with the Uzi, i started to reload, (bad idea in the place where i was at, there was no cover) and being eleven, i ran to the ammo which was sitting in between two of my teammates, in a no cover killing zone, and all three of us were gunned down by a guy with an automatic. aauugghh. not good for morale.
moral of the story: 0 cover = death. (which can be hazardous for the health)

#3 location: the field behind my house (i set up all those barricades myself!)
time: sometime in May.
game mode: Juggernaut
Juggernaut: me
we didn't have any hit limits for the Jugg, he just ran around with an axe and sword (both duct tape!) until he'd had enough. and we were a gun short. (mechanical problems occur after a few rounds with cheap springys) i suit up, two combat jackets (the thin fatigue jackets) and my mask. put on some gloves, and we started. i didn't think springys could pump out that much ammo in so little time! i got hit thirty times! (+!) i didn't quit because of that, i was a wee bit winded. score: three killed out of five. (the last one had my shotgun)

spectacular wins!

#1

tripping. (it's bloomin' terrible mate!)

excerpt from the discourses of Joel "Toast" Elliott:

September 27.

dramatis personae:

Cannon, Joel, and assorted nincompoops.

'twas a dark and quite cold night this e'entide, me mates and i decided to go to the park, to perform some 'mazing feat of acrobatics, called by the name of "night games" t'was a wet and dewy nine 'o clock when we played the game of "a strange apparition in the graveyard!" Cannon lost the draw, and was hastily "killed" and sent to the graveyard to "die" i, trying to live up to my nickname of "toast" ('twas nay the best idea.) rushed forward, soon flushing the apparition out of the "graveyard" and hence, got chased all the way back to the "safe" zone (being the dum boys we were/are, we chose a wet table) normally when running away from the ghost the practice is to run up the bench on to the top of the table. i, being the fastest (tis true!) reached it first, jumped onto the wet bench, my foot slippeth, my other knee followest close behind, and low and behold! hits the bench, (i had a rather large bruise for the next few days) just enough to make me cry "medic!" (and roll on the ground for a bit) i did not take in to account that i am the medic, so there was no aid. (except laughing of course).
i can tell of numerous examples where tripping has ended my time in all sorts of games, (fencing, tag, border patrol, airsoft, duct tape swords, black ops, etc...) but the most amazing thing happened yesterday! tripping saved my life during two ball tag! both of the khybers were chasing me, they were chasing me to the far edge, they both throw, i slip on the woodchips (they aren't stable!) pull a ninja twist and both of the thrown dodgeballs fly past and i take off! it was amazing! it went down in ------- parkour history (written by me... to be posted in installments here on this blog) )as the greatest (non-injuring) mistake ever! (the other one, was when McClain was chasing the Ginger ninja III during one ball tag, the ginge tripped on the cement and hurt his knees, as he's lying on the ground Mac throws the ball and misses! from two feet away!) although if you can pull of a trip as a meant to do action, (for instance, turning it into a roll halfway through so it just looks awesome) it ends up pretty good. but i've only been able to do that a few times.

coming soon, how to be a pro at ------ park games.
comment below if you would like to learn how to be a (park) medic!

cheers!
Toast

earlier in the Summer...

Youth For Liberty! it can be summed up in one word, (but i'm not sure what that word is...) so i'll have to stick with AMAZING, AWESOME, and WORTH IT!!! i attended with a load of my good buddys (not to copy Zack, but you know who you are), and got  a bit more. i honestly thought about copy and pasting my buddy Zack's version, ( http://tjedkid.blogspot.com/2013/09/summer-splash-44.html ) but our accounts differ just a wee bit...
day 1: i (almost) fail the entrance exam, meet new people, become a hand at gutterball (it's different there than everywhere else), introduce myself in front of the entire camp as a three time astro camp grad, captain, reader, and all-out awesome person! and sleep terribly. (some of the guys in my cabin were of the opinion that someone was sleep walking)
day 2: get up early and go on a run, (it's so much easier going up hills there, than going up hills wearing my usual full combat uniform, including cardboard m16) and what else happened...(hang on, let me get my journal) found it! alright let's see... after  breakfast i went to my classes, after lunch during recreation time, Alex learns not to take my hat (some people are so dumb when it comes to that.) start on my rep as the mob boss (i set up a lot of games of mafia at camp) calmed my good buddy Zack down after he got a bit mad during the game of jeopardy we played... (some of you know him by a different name, just text me and ask) night games was alright, but there wasn't anybody who wore any neon.... =(
day 3 0530 (0 dark-thirty) fall out of my bed onto the floor when the camp "communist" (that's what the other guys called him, but i thought he was cool, maybe i'm just weird. oh wait, i am weird!) flipped on the lights and ordered us out of the cabin, (my thoughts: "fire?" i see his uniform, "Russians?" then "dang, i better get out of here!") i pull on my "uniform" over my shorts, then hurry out, to almost immediately freeze to death (it was cold!) after thawing (somewhat) i hurry to the flagpole, where we get told that the Russians have indeed invaded, and we're being sent to the nearest boot camp (this is where Zack's account and mine differ. he seems to think we went on a hike with wooden rifles to a clearing where we learned about being men) after it got warmer, we all went back and had breakfast,went to our classes, and had lunch, then it was time for more mafia! (apparently it was time for the mob boss to die, the mafia shot me in the face, but i survived, so the yakuza hit me with a baseball bat.) then it was time for the obstacle course! i must say, i did pretty well. we had to cross a pond on a rope (30- seconds was my time, not kidding, ask any of my team members) light up a light bulb with a potato, (didn't complete that one), balance our entire team on a board and tire, (that was over fast) move a truck 30 feet using a pulley system (we just barely made it!!) crawl 40(ish) feet on the volleyball court (i loved it! got to do it twice! once pushing the log!) and work on our noticing skills, in the way of helping one of the counselors, move stuff ('tis a good thing I'm a boy scout...) then at the last all the teams got together, and had a flour sock war. (our team was out first, they don't play my way...) but all in all, i loved it! afterwards there was a scrum in the dudes section of showers, (i was fast and had all my stuff ready, so i got in first) after dinner we listened to Joe Wolverton speak (he was our keynote, and was AMAZING!!) i didn't really want to do night games all that much, there was just to many people, and i was tired, but i was persuaded by some lassies, (again, you know who you are) and had a wee bit of fun playing capture the flag. (except they weren't flags, they were backpacks)
day 4 the last day!!! no!!! nobody went on a run that day, we were all to beat. (not broken, just tired) after the last class of the camp, (and last lunch) we all signed each other's books, had a water balloon massacre, customized our rifles, (mine has our sacred honour, Irish mafia ((not the westies)), and a name inscribed on it) and just messed around. then we packed up all of our stuff, cleaned our cabins, and headed to the awards ceremony. (my parent's didn't show) but 'twas still good. the cabin i was in (Alexander Hamilton) lost the cleanest cabin contest to the John Hancock cabin by 4 points! 32-36! gaah!! we were so close! after that disheartening announcement, we watched a video of the reason the older girl's cabin didn't win, (they soaked the cabin inspector) which was pretty funny, and it put them at 248 points under, (which is weird, because forty points was the maximum you could earn) after that, we were each given our own unique awards, (i got the strategy award, for being the master strategist that i am) afterwards we had refreshments and said our goodbyes, (which was sad!) and had refreshments, (which wasn't so sad) and left.
the end
if i had pictures i would post them, but i don't.
http://youthforlibertycamp.blogspot.com/
i hope those who went enjoyed reliving camp, and those who didn't go enjoyed finding out more about it

cheers!
Joel "McHaggis" Elliott
(i did not choose that nickname, it was given me.)